Do I have the choice of choosing the life I want to live?
"12 years ago, I was a financial analyst for the top insurance firm in the country.Jude*
That job didn't give me any free time. I mean, I used to work late until I fall asleep under my desk at the office.
But I was Ok with it. At least, it pays well and I get to take care of my family.
That's what I used tell myself every day.
Then, 8 years ago, I got diagnosed with kidney cancer.
All of sudden, everything became so real.
It got me thinking of my life choices and the things I never got to do.
I stopped saying, "no" to new things and began to do the things I've always wanted to do.
One day, I baked a cake for my dialysis buddies, after weeks of watching this cooking show during our sessions.
And everyone loved it.
They loved it so much, that they said, they would even buy it, if I was selling it.
Long story short, I became a professional pastry chef just after I went into remission – thanks be to God.
I left the corporate world, opened my own bakery and I've never looked back.
And, I didn't just do that.
I built a business that also gives me the freedom of time to live the life I want now – and not later.
Oh yeah, like being an actor in a drama troupe with my friends."
Pastry Chef, Bakery Owner and Treasurer of a Drama Troupe.
"My sisters and I were raised by our uncles and Grandma.Gordon*
Our parents couldn't even afford to feed us, let alone put a roof over our heads.
So, at just 13yrs old, I made a vow to myself to do better for my children.
I work hard, make money and I make sure my four beautiful children have everything they want.
Things were fine until my little girl had an accident a few years ago.
It wasn't a serious accident. It just that, it could've been avoided if we (her parents) were around.
That was when I realized that, I've taken lots of important things for granted.
Yes, my children are always fed, clothed and live under a beautiful room.
But I wasn't around much and present in my family’s daily lives – just like my parents.
I had failed at living the life I promised myself.
But then, we couldn't just abandon our careers. We love what we do and needed the income.
So, my wife (a teacher) and I started to read and practice ways to work less but get more things done with better results.
It helped us to choose life and put our family life first before anything – even work.
I still have my successful career (mostly working from home) and I get to live the life I want every day – with my wife and kids.”
A Stay-Home Dad and Tour Manager for a large tour company.
*Names in this article have been changed.
As people, there are many things that we don’t usually agree on.
But when it comes to choices, it’s different.
Everyone has the certification of choice.
To be whoever they want to be and choose whichever life they want to live. To choose:
- what you do,
- when you do it,
- where you do it,
- and with whom you do it.
So, Yes.
You do have the choice to choose the life you want to live.
“the actual question“
With that said, the BIG question now is ‘why’
Why do people live like they’ve got no other choices?
Like how people put work first before everything, hustle for money, stay in dead-end jobs, and live a life filled with emptiness and mundane activities.
Well, that answer simply lies within people’s willingness to live their dream life and be free.
You see, people are pretty good at coming up with excuses when it comes to going after what they want.
We’ve got all kinds of excuses; from “I’m busy” to “I’ve got bills to pay”, to “If only I had more money” to “dreams don’t work in the real world”, and so on.
And we’ve become quite good at hiding behind those excuses – even though, we know it’s all an illusion.
But then, an illusion for what?
“it’s feaaar of failuuure“
Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.
We’re so scared of failure that we’d rather stay miserable than do the things we love to do or go for what we want.
Not that we’re weak. No.
It just that, our fear can be so strong that sometimes it turns into something else – blind optimism, in other words, denial.
We tell ourselves that things will improve with time; even when we know they never will.
That’s why people choose to stay in their dead-end jobs or unrewarding business – as long as:
- the work is okay,
- the bills get paid,
- and the job doesn’t become pure hell.
“it’s human nature“
Over millions of years of surviving enemies and running away from wild animals has taught the human brain a unique feature.
To relax, calm down and save energy, when there are no threats.
So, we easily become complacent when we don’t see any danger.
Like how we set goals, make resolutions to change direction – but do nothing about it.
Yep, people are lazy.
People generally won’t go out of their way to live a better life, as long as everything is “fine“.
It doesn’t matter whether that life is what we want or not. We simply won’t act, unless something:
- forces us,
- change our minds,
- or alter our lives.
“choose your freedom“
So, just choose your dreams, live free and live the life you want – because you can.
Don’t worry about how other people are living.
Because most people are scared and insecure.
They would rather watch life pass them by, than do something about it.
Even though they do have the choice.
Small To Sprout 