Am I weak, irresponsible and lazy if I feel tired and frustrated with being a business owner?
"I've always been "the stylist" at home and among my friends.Suzie*
I've even desigSned an
d made clothes for almost everyone that I know.
And so, when I was having issues at my old job as a nurse, everyone kept telling me to "commercialize" my tailoring skills.
So that's what I did.
They even helped me with the money to open the shop.
I felt really good that day when I first opened with my friends and family around.
And that's the only good memory I've had since I started this 6yrs ago.
It's been a lot of bad memories.
I'm doing my best but nothing seems to be working.
I'm tired physically and emotionally.
Right now, I feel like I'm no more the person that I used to be.
I know I've let everyone down."
Tailor, Fashion Designer, Owner of a Tailoring Business.
"I opened this bar with my wife so we can take care of our family.Ben*
Both my wife and I have bartending experience, so it wasn't that hard to decide to open a bar.
But we ended up with a pretty bar that makes great drinks and no money.
I've put all my savings into the bar. We don't have a house, we're in debt, we have next to no assets.
Sometimes, I can't even afford to feed my children; let alone keep the lights on in our home.
As a husband and a father, it's very painful.
It's painful to wake up every day and work your ass off to fail.
My little girl was seriously ill in the hospital and I barely had any time for her.
That was the last straw for my wife. We got divorced after that.
I don't even feel like myself anymore. I feel like a failure.
It's the worst feeling. It's literally the worst feeling of my life.”
Bartender, Co-Owner of a Cocktail Bar
"I love to make people happy.Kwame*
To see the smiles on their faces and the joy my work brings them.
For an artisan, that's everything to me.
That's my passion.
I enjoy making knives and I put my soul in making every single piece.
But now, I'm doing so many other things that it doesn't leave a lot of time to be passionate or creative.
I feel my energy for everything is going down and it starting to show in my knives.
I'm used to the backbreaking work in the forge – the heat, sweat and everything.
But keeping this business afloat, drains me more than anything.
I don't feel excited or care about what anyone says about my work anymore.”
Bladesmith, Owner of a Blade Shop.
*Names in this article have been changed
First off, you’re are neither weak nor lazy if your story is anything similar to these guys.
You’re rather suffering from extreme levels of stress.
Also known as burnout.
Anyone would be physically or mentally stressed after they keep doing their best and all they get in return are disappointments and loss after loss, after loss.
They would be fed up and too tired to go on; let alone try to think of new ideas and ways of doing things.
All they’ll see around them every single day is hopelessness.
It can happen to anyone.
In fact, many business owners suffer from burnouts.
It just that, many try their best to hide it or pretend that they are Ok.
“it’s not normal“
That’s not to say that, burnout is normal.
It is NOT.
No one goes into business to suffer.
People rather go into business with a clear vision for success and happiness.
A vision of a business that:
- runs itself
- makes you money
- and most importantly, gives you the freedom to live the life you want.
Therefore, living with stress, fear, frustrations and unhappiness is definitely NOT part of the package.
Besides, you don’t suffer burnout when your business is thriving.
It only happens when your business is either struggling or failing – or both.
So, do not let any workaholic (lazy-holic) or anyone make you believe that burnout is normal.
Because, if nothing is done about it, things will end tragically – it always does.
“misery loves company“
First off, the problems will become so frustrating that you’ll start to behave weird.
You’ll even tell yourself lies, just so you could feel better.
Every day, you’ll tell yourself “Things will improve”, but it rather gets worse.
It’ll even make you feel like your business can never progress or do better – other than to stay mediocre.
Things will be so overwhelming that, you might even accept it as your fate.
You might even do what most owners with struggling businesses do.
And that’s, surround yourself with other business owners who are also:
- suffering but living in denial,
- enslaved in a mediocre business,
- and miserable every day,
Just so you wouldn’t feel alone in your difficult situation.
Why not?
Misery loves company.
“it destroys everything“
But, none of that will still relieve you of your stress.
That’s because, problems that cause burnouts they don’t just go away.
They only get worse.
There’s no “let’s wait and see” or “have faith, things will get better” when dealing with such problems.
No, no, no.
They only go away, when they are solved.
But until that happens, you won’t be the only one who’ll suffer from it.
First, those frustrations, stress, unhappiness and will just keep building up until you become depressed and bitter.
It’ll suck everything out of you.
Drain you of your energy, passion, hopes, happiness and everything that makes you – you.
Meanwhile, it’ll move on to destroy everything around you – your marriage, friendships, family, health, team and so on.
Everything will come second to that struggling business you’re trying to keep afloat – including your life.
Seriously, you could even work yourself to death.
You’ll just end up sacrificing the very things you’re working for and still lose the business.
“be honest with yourself“
Your pain and frustrations will just keep destroying everything until there’s nothing left.
The only way forward for you and your business, is change.
First, be honest with yourself and admit that you’re struggling and you’re not OK.
I know it’s hard.
But, you have to put your progress, freedom and mental health over your pride.
It’s only then, that you can be free and courageous to do the right things or what needs to be done.
And then, seek help from people who have the right skills to find the solution to whatever is making your business fail and your life miserable.
So, once again, NO.
You’re not weak, irresponsible or lazy if you’re frustrated because of stress or burnout.
But, you can be, if you let it continue to escalate and destroy you and everyone in your life.
Small To Sprout 